Crucible of Self-Confrontation in Marriage and Relationships
Explore the importance of self-control, personal growth, and integrity in building a strong relationship and navigating the complexities of marriage. Learn from Dr. Margi Anne Isaia and David Schnarch's insights on balancing attachment and autonomy, self-soothing, and the pivotal role of personal development in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling partnership.
Download Presentation
Please find below an Image/Link to download the presentation.
The content on the website is provided AS IS for your information and personal use only. It may not be sold, licensed, or shared on other websites without obtaining consent from the author. If you encounter any issues during the download, it is possible that the publisher has removed the file from their server.
You are allowed to download the files provided on this website for personal or commercial use, subject to the condition that they are used lawfully. All files are the property of their respective owners.
The content on the website is provided AS IS for your information and personal use only. It may not be sold, licensed, or shared on other websites without obtaining consent from the author.
E N D
Presentation Transcript
www.enthusiasticlife.net DrAnneenthusiasticLife Dr MargiAnne Isaia, MD MPH PCC-T 6 Sexuality in marriage SET PART
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net CONCEPTS Self-control lets you stop controlling your partner . Holding onto you requires an accurate picture . You can get a more accurate self-picture if you construct your crucible of self-confrontation . David Schnarch, PhD Passionate Marriage , 2009
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net In order to build your crucible you must follow specific principles. CONCEPTS Relationship involves both self-soothing and other-soothing . Marriage is a system of balancing growth and stability . The partner who doesn t want to grow attempts to freeze everything in place: by embroiling the other in conflict or undermining all forward-moving efforts . David Schnarch, PhD Passionate Marriage , 2009
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net Critical mass or the point at which fundamental reorganization takes place is experienced differently by people at different levels of differentiation . CONCEPTS Therapists do not know when someone should leave a marriage . Every spouse must decide if and when things have gone too far. After serious self-confrontation and effort to repair your relationship have failed, it can be an act of differentiation, integrity, and sanity to divorce . David Schnarch, PhD Passionate Marriage , 2009
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS When you self-control yourself, you work on creating a flexible and anxiety- free relationship. It makes you to eliminate the distortions and projections and find the truth about you and your partner. Only when you are courageous enough to focus and listen to yourself you enter into your crucible and address your unresolved problems.
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS It takes determination and integrity to accept the crucible experience, but it will impact you and your partner. There are specific principles for building the personal crucible, the majority emphasizing the role of integrity, personal development, wisdom of silence, focusing on self, being truthful to you. Balancing attachment with autonomy and self-regulation is probably one of the most important developmental tasks valuable for any age-category individuals, not only for infants.
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS I found that this is critical for partners to understand because it will help enrich their sexual experience, for parents to understand because it will impact their family life. Also, this is critical for therapists to address loneliness anxiety. Self-confrontation is involved in the growing cycle. Also, it brings comfort to the person because the truth brings liberation and stability in relationships.
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS Self-soothing is involved in the comfort cycle, but without self-confrontation there is the risk of not growing and getting uninterested for keeping the relationship alive. This is so prevalent in Christian marriages where wives are required to be submissive to their husbands and find comfort while professing their religion. It is no wonder that children raised in these families end up by not embracing their parents religion or postponing the age of marriage.
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS In marriage both partners must be involved in balancing the individual process of growing and comforting in order for the relationship to grow and provide comfort. Otherwise, things could become tragic. If the qualities of critical mass could be experienced by both partners it is possible that the marriage will be resuscitated. The problem is that the partners will live with an increased sense of uncertainty for the future.
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS The decision to divorce is probably one of the most difficult life s decisions. (I remember the struggles my client went through when she finally decided to get divorced after 28 years of marriage. Advised by her pastor to remain faithful to her husband because no sexual infidelity was involved in their case, she reached the bottom: atypical depression for years, heart attack, and brain surgery. Finally, after three years since the divorce she enjoys life again).
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net REACTIONS Understanding that making a decision for divorce increases the differentiation level would help many partners to get free from a miserable marriage that resulted in negative health outcomes, discouragement and hopelessness.
IMPLICATION FOR PRACTICE Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net Help the partners explore the level of anxiety when out of synch. Ask them to look for resilience factors in order to increase the differentiation level. FOR SEX THERAPIST Explore self-soothing strategies. Introduce the concept of Critical Mass . Show the importance of self-differentiation in the process of moving successful through critical times.
IMPLICATION FOR PRACTICE Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net Define the qualities of critical mass. Let the partners evaluate their marital perspective. Ask for the meaning and risk factors for divorce. FOR SEX THERAPIST Let them answer their questions regarding what to decide. Evaluate if there are special sexual behaviors that are not agreed on by one of the partners. Assess the issue of sex addiction of one of the partners.
IMPLICATION FOR PRACTICE Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net Discuss the concept of infants resilience. FAMILYLIFEEDUCATIONSPECIALIST Explain the importance of time in and out when raising children. Teach self-soothing strategies. Teach the dynamics of marriage as a balancing system between growth and stability. Address the hallmarks of critical mass. Make the partners understand the types of infidelity. Explore the conditions for divorce in their culture.
IMPLICAII PRACTICE Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net Explain the magnitude of infants self-repair processes. CONSILIERUL COLAR Let the student explore his/her status of emotional self-regulation. Provide him with some practical ways for self-soothing. Explore the meaning of relationships and principles for building and maintaining a healthy one.
IMPLICAII PRACTICE Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net Discuss factors that hinder the growing process in a relationship. CONSILIERUL COLAR Make the student understand the value of integrity in a relationship where one partner is not willing to grow. Help the student face the dissolution of a relationship after trying to build it.
Love Lab www.enthusiasticlife.net CLASSICALAUTHOR If Christ is abiding in the heart, He will be in all our thoughts. Our deepest thoughts will be of Him, His love, His purity. He will fill all the chambers of the mind. Our affections will center about Jesus. All our hopes and expectations will be associated with Him . EGW --Lt 8, 1891. (HP 163.) {1MCP 238.2}
