Discover how to help children build crucial life skills such as frustration tolerance, anxiety management, and problem-solving. Explore the importance of modeling, scaffolding, and practice in fostering these skills. Learn about the anatomy and functions of the brain, and gain insights into techniques for enhancing children's resilience and adaptability.
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Learning Happens Within Relationships 01 02 03 Modeling Children learn by observing us We give them examples of how to manage stress, how to problem solve, etc. Scaffolding The support given during the learning process which is tailored to the needs of the child with the intention of helping the child achieve learning goals without doing it for him/her. Practice Offer opportunities for practicing the skills you want them to master
Frustration Frustration: The feeling of being upset, annoyed, or disappointed especially because of being unable to change or achieve something Triggered when an individual perceives resistance to the fulfillment of their will or goal. Likely to increase when a will or goal is denied or blocked Frustration tolerance: The ability to withstand obstacles and stressful situations
Low Frustration Tolerance Low frustration tolerance: Inability to tolerate unpleasant feelings or stressful situations Focusing on immediate gratification rather than long term goals Seeking out easy solutions rather than difficult challenges Giving up easily Impatience Meltdowns when frustrated
Skills Needed to Tolerate Frustration Self-reflection Identify your feelings Identify intensity of feelings Understand your body s reactions to frustration Coping Do something to reduce your frustration level Flexibility Adjust path towards goal or adjust goal
Teaching Frustration Tolerance Skills Help your child develop a feeling vocabulary 4 basic feelings: Sad, Mad, Happy, Scared When reading books or watching videos with your child have them identify the feelings of the characters Play Feelings Charades Help your child talk about how much of a feeling they re experiencing Help your child identify the clues their body gives them
Teaching Frustration Tolerance Skills Validate your child s feelings instead of dismissing You can validate feelings without condoning the behavior
Teaching Frustration Tolerance Skills Modeling Scaffolding Practice Talk about your own feelings Support emotional regulation Help your child verbalize their needs before responding right away Talk about your own clues Give suggestions or options if your child is stuck Allow your child to tackle challenges based on their current skill level Games: Chutes and Ladders Sorry Let your child see you overcome frustration Engage in coping skills with them Praise effort and not giving up instead of only praising success
Anxiety Anxiety A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about a pending event or an uncertain outcome. Normal reaction to situations that we might find challenging Beneficial: Keeps us alert in case of danger, helps us prepare and pay attention
Anxiety Disorder Anxiety disorders are different from normative anxiety Excessive fear and anxiety Persistent Out of proportion to the situation or age inappropriate Negatively impacts your functioning Avoidance is used as main coping tool
Anxiety Presentation in Children Avoidance Behaviors that seem oppositional or like acting out. Trouble Concentrating Increase in motor activity Irritability
Skills Needed to Manage Anxiety Self-reflection Identify your anxiety triggers: environmental and cognitive Identify intensity of anxiety Understand your body s reactions to anxiety Coping First children learn to co-regulate Then they learn to self-regulate Use of body and senses for coping Cognitive coping
Anxiety Management Techniques for Parents Remind yourself to slow down You don t have to have every solution or answer right away Stop and think: Am I responding to my child s need or to my own anxiety? Try not to take your child s behavior personally Be a behavior detective Diaphragmatic Breathing Mental Vacation
Teaching Anxiety Management Skills Modeling Scaffolding Practice Talk about what makes you nervous Validate their feelings of nervousness Engage in gradual exposure rather than complete avoidance Practice coping strategies when child is NOT anxious Use Games: App called Triangle of Life Perfection Operation Talk about what it means to be brave If you re having a difficult moment with your child tell them you re going to use a coping strategy and invite them to join you. Engage in co-regulation Support their use of coping strategies Let your child see you manage anxiety Create a tool kit
Problem Solving Definition Problem: Having a goal but not knowing how to achieve it Encountering obstacles Experiencing a conflict Problem solving: Cognitive processing directed at finding solutions to difficult or complex issues Children will have difficulty developing this skill if adults solve all of their problems for them
Skills Needed to Problem Solve Two types of mental skills: Analytical: Using logic such as ordering, comparing, contrasting, evaluating, and selecting. Creative: Using your imagination to create a large range of ideas for solutions. Being flexible and original.
Steps Involved in Problem Solving Identify the problem Collect information Decide what is causing the problem Identify possible solutions Select a solution Create a plan to implement solution Test out your solution Review outcome
Teaching Problem Solving Skills Modeling Think out loud when you are engaging in simple problem solving Scaffolding Ask your child for help in solving problems that you know will be easy for them Practice Prompt your child to engage in problem solving when encountering an issue or conflict Let them apply a possible solution even if you re sure it won t work (as long as safety is not an issue) Games: ThinkFun: Logic and Problem Solving Games Let your child see you apply a solution that doesn t work and try again Adjust level of support based on stress level of child Invite your child to think through a problem with you If your child is stuck or problem is very challenging for them, offer possible solutions and let them choose Function as a coach through conflict resolution
Resources Wall Street Journal Article: The Right Way to Help Anxious Children https://www.wsj.com/article_email/the-right-way-for-parents-to-help-anxious-children- 1512755970-lMyQjAxMTA3NzA1OTAwODk1Wj/ The Beginning of Life Documentary streaming on Netflix
