Mastering First Impressions: Unveiling the Power of Personality in 4 Seconds

DEFINITION ? Personality is the first impression that you create on another person in the first four seconds. ? Personality is: - Positioning Yourself - About Who you are - About giving conversation a Face - Creating a Brand for yourself - Image Building - Colour, Energy and Enthusiasm

INTRODUCTION ? Today , the world has become so competitive that just having intelligence and expertise won t suffice . What you need is to have a good Personality as that is what going to have a lasting effect on people around you. ? What do you think about when you talk about personality? ? We all have Personalities , but we must have Persona (characteristics),i.e. the type of person. E.g.. Cheerful , Likeable , interesting , etc. ? We need to polish it. ? Be uniformly polite to all

3 VS ? There was a survey conducted in America and following were the conclusions drawn: 1) Visual - 55% : 2) Vocal - 38% 3) Verbal - 07%

3 VS ? Visual: What you see, what appeals to others. People build an impression about you just from seeing you, your appearance, hygiene , the way you carry yourself, through your body language , etc. Hence without communicating to the other person also you are communication a lot. It includes your charm the way you dress, your facial expressions, your posture,etc

1ST4 SECONDS ? As mentioned in the definition following are the first 4 seconds which create an impression on others: I) SMILE: Smile is Infectious . You will catch it like a Flu . When you smile at someone , the other will reciprocate in the same way.( Unless he has sworn to not smile!!!!!!!!!!). It acts like an Ice-Breaker. Remember Silence of mouth may avoid many problems, but Smile of mouth may solve all the problems.

1ST4 SECONDS ? Wrong Types of Smiles: 1) Half Smile : It means just moving one side of your lips . It looks as if the rest half of your face is paralysed. 2) Open-Mouthed: It means smiling while opening the entire mouth . It does not look nice to have this type of facial expression, and sometimes is done to over-do yourself.

1ST4 SECONDS 3)No Smile: When you meet someone, and smile ,it could be possible that the other person does not have any expression on his face and does not react at all. This happens especially with those you have never met , so they start thinking if they know you. Also with someone you are not in talking terms with , and you decide to initiate and break the ice. In such cases also the other person might not be prepared for your smile and gets confused.

SMILE TYPES ? 4) Smirk: It reflects an attitude in your smile, It's like the I know it all types. All the above mentioned types are faulty and hence we should be very careful in noticing our smiles as to be away from the above 4 types. FULL Smile: It has to be natural and willingly done. Spread both the corners of the lips and show teeth slightly . Do not smile with mouth wide open or completely shut.

1ST4 SECONDS ? II- EYE-CONTACT: It reflects trust and Confidence. -It suggests the other person(non-verbal) that You are important to me , I am listening , etc. -However, not having a proper eye-contact suggests that I am guilty , I lack confidence , I feel inferior , etc. - Never Talk while walking, as then the eye- contact is not there as you concentrate more on your steps.

1ST4 SECONDS ? III- Handshake: It is the first Physical Rapport with another person. ? Wrong types of handshakes: Double: It means giving a handshake with both hands , one hand below the other person s hand and one above. Finger: i.e. doing handshake with 1 or 2 fingers. Gym: I.e. bone-crushing one, where the other person gets hurt. Half-Hearted: this is better than finger ,but still here you do not extend your entire hand

PERFECT HANDSHAKE ? Keep your right leg a bit in the front. ? Bend a little in the back while giving. ? Smile ? Eye-contact ? Hands at waist-level ? Your and other person s we block should be interlinked. ? Just give one single jerk and release the hand. ? Do not swing the hand

1ST4 SECONDS IV- BODY LANGUAGE: Non-Verbal Communication, i.e. communicating through your body position and movements. Remember Easy is Ugly, Difficult is Beautiful. Ensure that your Posture : a-) Doesn't not constraint your speech organs. E.G- Do not cover your mouth with your hands while talking. b) Keeps you in ready position. E.G. Do not sit in a dull way , in case someone calls you or asks you to get up, you should do it spontaneously and immediately without taking time to get up. .

BODY LANGUAGE ? I- While Standing: a) Do not lean b) Head level in front, not looking up at the ceiling nor looking down at the floor. c) Hands hold at the waist level , also while moving them move at the waist level. d) Do not keep hands at the back nor in the pocket. e) No cross-arms.

BODY LANGUAGE II- While Sitting: a) Sit Straight b) Do not rest your back on the chair , sit on half of the chair. c) Keep your hands on the lap(females) or on the edge of the table( males) . III- While Walking: a) Walk with energy b) Do not drag your feet while walking c) Head level to be straight d) Walk Straight

VOCAL ? It means how to speak- it should be soft and polite ? Don t speak in mouth , be clear and audible ? 3 P s 1) Pitch: High or low voice , i.e. depending on the number of people you decide your pitch. E.g.- you need not raise your voice while talking to 2-3 people , but you need to do it when talking to a group of say 40-50 people.

VOCAL 2) Pace: Not too slow(or people feel bored) but not too fast( people will no understand) 3) Pause: for effect. E.g.. can we say" where are you going question mark? NO- it reflects in your tone, in your pauses that you take. Pausing before and after important words creates good effect. 4) Stress: on important words to give out their value or to emphasise on them.

VERBAL ? Unless you know what to speak i.e. unless you have the content or the matter, you cannot be verbal. ? For exams your textbooks might give your knowledge , but what about for parties or any social functions? ? So enhance your verbal skills by developing good vocabulary, reading newspapers, news channels. ? Instead of saying I want you to do this, say I would like you to do this.

CONVERSATION ? In Personality conversation plays a very important role. The way you converse with people helps in building your impression. ? There has to charm in your conversation: a) Speak with energy and not dully. b) smile immediately when you meet someone. c) Replace regular words by good vocabulary. E.g. If someone asks you how are you ? Instead of just saying Replace Fine with Fang fantastic magnificent

CONVERSATION d) Ask open-ended questions where you give the other person to talk more elaborately instead of close-ended questions-whose answers are mostly just a YES or a NO. e) Address people by names , they love to hear their names and it also gives a personalized feeling. f) Talk less and listen more. g) Stop Boasting. h) Speak in a moderate tone

CONVERSATIONS i) Always greet the person when you meet them. For this be aware of the world clock. j) Respond positively, rarely disagree and even if you do so, mention it politely. k) Seldom interrupt. l) To deny, be polite, No , thank you. with a smile. j) never use cheap language-it shows immaturity and no sign-language

CONVERSATIONS ? Instead of saying You have to - Say I might suggest , or You should use In my opinion . ? Never ask the Professionals their advice at any party or social event . Just ask them for their card and get back to them later.

HYGEINE ? It plays an important role to enhance your personality. ? Imagine you not having bath and going to work. ? You want people to be attracted towards you and not repelling from you. ? Does prevents people from being repelled by your odour. ? Hence use Deo while at work , It's better to carry then in your bag as by the time you reach work, you are already sweating and there is no use of the deo that you wore while leaving the house. ? While spraying Deo, do not keep your hands too far away from you or else the entire room, except you will be full of Deo!!

HYGEINE ? Just keep it around 5 cms. Away and spray in circular motion. Deos are to be used for everyday wear. ? While Perfumes are used usually for party-wear as they stay longer. Wear a perfume on your wrist, cheeks, earlobe , neck areas. ? You also get sticks: roll clockwise under your armpits ? Colognes: are diluted forms of perfumes. ? Always use a mouth freshener or lozenges or mints after your lunch and specifically if you have had around of smoking. ? Never use chewing gums at work.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE ? Having a positive attitude helps you enhance your personality as it reflects on your face and body language. ? If you are full of negative thoughts, fear, or anxiety , it immediately reflects in your work efficiency and thus also affects on your work relationships. ? Following are the steps to develop a Positive Attitude: 1) Be Optimist: learn to be so strong that no person or no one s talks or behaviours can disturb your peace of mind.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE Spend so much time to improve yourself that you do not have time left to criticise others. - do not crib - Do not keep complaining - forget the troubles and count blessings 2) Increase Knowledge: as automatically then your confidence increases.. Knowledge is a reservoir. It becomes Power only when acted upon. 3) Polish Your Skills: a woodcutter needs to polish his axe after every few cuttings of the trees.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE In the same way, you need to take a break from your work to realise what skills you need to polish so as to be updated with the recent technologies and advancements. DO NOT FEED YOUR MIND WITH JUNK 4)Stress on Strengths: and do not crib on your weakness. E.g. Ostrich is the largest bird weighing 300 pounds, but cannot fly. But it has got strong legs to run up to more than 55 miles/hour. Thus concentrate on what expertise you have. DO NOT MAKE A CAREER OUT OF IGNORANCE.S

POSITIVE ATTITUDE 5) Avoid Procrastination: it means delaying the things. E.g.. today you are delaying a work , saying I am analysing and after 6 months if you are still analysing ,then it is an example of bad procrastination. Avoid saying I should have , I wish I Had , I could have . Thus remember that having a Positive Attitude , without making efforts is nothing more than having a wishful dream.

SELF-CONFIDENCE ? It is an inner ability of an individual that enables him or her to face any situation and emerge victorious thus getting the desired positive results. ? Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself, but don t relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of You. ? We all are not born with self-confidence , but we develop or acquire it, by having fair and deserved role models from whom we get motivated.

SELF-CONFIDENCE ? Following are the techniques to build self- confidence: 1) Compliment: It is a feel good factor. It is of 2 types: In Person and In kind(in the form of accolades , medals, etc) It motivates you and increases your capability. A) When you receive a Compliment: - Say a Thank you and accept it gracefully. E.g. someone says that she loves your dress. DO not ask her Are you sure? As this is just for Rs.100 from hill road. Accept it directly.

SELF-CONFIDENCE -Analyse if its genuine or flattery , as we can make out the difference. - Reinforce it: I.e. ask for suggestions, feedback to improve it. B) While Giving Compliment: - It has to be immediate and not after a time lapse. E.g. if you thought that your colleague gave a good presentation, compliment him immediately and not after 6 months. - Do not use But as a connector. E.g.. You handled the project very well..But....... - Be Genuine

SELF-CONFIDENCE ? Examples: Brilliant Orator Nice Footwear(not sandals) Scintillating or unique or intricate jewellery. You are a pleasure to talk to. I am intrigued by your personality I am so pleased you made time to come.

SELF-CONFIDENCE 2) Make use of Opportunities: Nature always hints at us so never let any opportunities let go. E.g.. If your superior is not available for some reasons and his project has been asked you to handle, do not say a NO or doubt your capabilities. Treat this as an opportunity and fire. A common Man seeks Security , whereas the Uncommon Man seeks Opportunity. When people lack purpose and direction, they see no opportunity.

SELF-CONFIDENCE ? Steps to develop: a) Deposit only positive thoughts : Do not take them to hear while asleep, just think of all positive things happened. b) Withdraw Negative thoughts: Repeated recall of such incidents develop mind monster. c) Make Eye contact d) Practice Speaking up: It's a Confidence- building vitamin.

SELF-ESTEEM ? It means what you think about yourself. ? Walt Disney got his1st Bank Loan on his 34th attempt!! Imagine if he would have given up!!! -Edison perfected electric bulb in his 1000th attempt. -A Champion s morale is low, his coach puts him against a weaker opponent and the 1st victory raises his self-esteem and brings up his level of self-confidence.

SELF-ESTEEM How to develop: a) Never blame yourself b) Take calculated risk and do the things you are afraid of c) Practice following exercises- I am feeling excellent I will not stop until I have succeeded. I will double my efforts.

SELF-BELIEF ? One s self is not to be found but created. ? If you don t believe in yourself the world will not. ? Hence do not create a Sorry picture of yourself. ? Beliefs are of 2 types: a) Empowering: Gives you strength and stays firmly inside you. b) Limiting: Which makes you weak.

SELF-BELIEF ? Amitabh Bachchan was rejected 28 times due to his height and voice But he believed in himself and that got him to where he is today. ? How to develop: a) Think success and not failure b) Have big goals c)Practice affirmations Drugs are not always necessary, but belief in recovery is a must. - Norman Cousins

GROOMING ? The way you look and dress also affects the way people perceive you. E.g.. you cannot wear a traditional dress at a party nor can you wear a mini skirt while visiting temple. E.g.. 2- There is a uniform for Army, Navy air hostess and that s what is more attractive about them. And thus the corporate world looks best and professional and presentable in Formal wear ? Thus dressing correct and as per the occasion along with the other accessories is important.

GROOMING ? Grooming for MEN: SHIRTS: a) Always use cotton shirts as it helps to absorb the heat specially in Mumbai. b) Avoid too bright and double-toned colours c) Stripes-thin vertical stripes spaced together. TROUSERS: a) Black, Brown, Navy Blue, Beige. b)The side and hip pockets shouldn't be stuffed. c) Not even a pen in the side pocket of shirt. TIEs a) The length should be till the top of the belt buckle. b) The width should be neither too wide nor too narrow. Colour of the trousers, watch strap, shoes and socks should match.

GROOMING ? WOMEN: formals- no printed shirts -darker shades women- colours are purple, deep blue , burgundy. -Whitish Lemons, green, yellow, white - Fair- Magenta, purple, orange , white Handbags- formal ones, no jholas , clutch at work Plumpy women avoid very small bags- as then it concentrates more on your size. Short Women: ? Avoid wearing flats, heels must. ? To appear taller and thinner, try a pinstripe suit

CS OF PERSONALITY 1) Clarity: - Focus-You should be clear about your goals , about what you have to do. Do not wait for some astronomer to predict your future as no one can see yourself clearly than you yourself. You would want to be in the HR but you could be working in Operations department!!! So dream big. Between Security and Opportunity , go for the 2ndone. Ask yourself, what did I do today to get closer to my goals? How could have I done it differently?

CS OF PERSONALITY 2) Competence: It's the ability to be excellent in your field. This comes through constantly updating yourself , attending seminars, etc. Once you create a benchmark for yourself, you have to move only upwards and not down. E.g.. If you have handled 4 projects in a month, suddenly you cannot get that number down to 2. 3) Concentration: I.e. Single-Minded Focus. And not getting distracted. The more you concentrate on your work, the time you save for your other work.

CS OF PERSONALITY 4) Commonsense: i.e. Intuition. It's good to rely on your inner voice. You can take suggestions from others but do only what you want to. 5) Creativity: Tap your potential. Implement new techniques at work to bring about the desired change. This way you do not even get bored to do the work in the same manner. But always discuss your ideas so that they become Creation. 6) Communication: Develop good communication skills , as if you feel shy, you will not be liked outside of your house. Also it build good interpersonal relations.

CS OF PERSONALITY 7) Consistency: Be consistent in your work. If you are a number one employee this year, see to it that you maintain your rank even the next year. Success is easier to achieve than maintain. Change things about you. 8) Commitment: Loyalty towards your job. Do not enter into any illegal and unethical practices. Do not switch jobs every 2 months. There s a difference between being Interested and being Committed.

CS OF PERSONALITY 9) Courage: The best way to conquer Fears is by confronting them. E.g.. if an individual is shy or scared of speaking in front of a bigger group, do not give any excuses that you don't like the group or they are not smart enough. The faster you confront, the better you can deal with them and work to eliminate them. Break Conventional barriers. 10) Confidence: It has to be gained from time to time. Your self-Esteem has to be intact no matter who ever tries to send negative vibes.

CONCLUSION ? Thus having a mix of all the mentioned elements helps us to improve personality ? As personality is not just how you look or whether you are dark or fair, but it goes above all these to include even your inner self and inner state . ? Remember, Success is going to be very momentary, but the journey is enjoyed.