Strong Writing: Examples and Elements
In this text, examples of strong writing from Dr. Wayne Smith's MGT 360 class are provided, emphasizing key elements such as topic sentences, unity, and organization. The excerpts showcase well-developed paragraphs with clear structure and cohesion, offering insights into effective writing techniques for academic and professional contexts.
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Paragraph Organization and Development: Examples of Strong Writing from MGT 360 Wayne Smith, Ph.D. Department of Management CSU Northridge ws@csun.edu
Superior, Contemporary Writing Employ higher-order writing strategies Always elevate your writing (throughout this class and beyond) All of the following examples are from my outstanding students Paragraph Elements Topic ( Key ) Sentence, Unity, Organization, Beginnings and Endings Paragraph Types Illustration, Narration, Description, Process Analysis, Definition, Division and Classification, Comparison and Contrast, Cause and Effect Length In general (there are a few exceptions), no fewer than three (3). No more than seven (7).
Exemplars Elements Topic Sentence The Topic sentence (sometimes called a Key sentence) of a paragraph is its main or controlling idea; it is the point the writer is trying to make. The most intractable organizational opportunity I have encountered as an employee came about while I was working at a small CPA firm (2 person LLP) in the San Fernando Valley. At this firm they are extremely set in their old- school ways of doing business, which has caused them to neglect advances in technology that would likely make tedious work, specifically the organization of customer files, much more productive. [thesis] If I had the authority to do so, I would enact an overhaul of the filing system employed by the firm by transferring client data from filing cabinets into a computer database. (emphasis added)
Exemplars Elements Unity The principle of Unity requires that each sentence in a paragraph be directly or indirectly related to the thesis of the paragraph. The manager made several mistakes. [thesis] Her first mistake was failing to schedule enough people to cover the possibility of someone calling out sick. [direct] The second mistake was putting me, her newest employee, in such an important position during such an important and profitable time. [direct] Her third mistake was failing to monitor the situation unfolding and ignoring the chaos ensuing in the front. [direct] I believe that the manager should have at the very least monitored the situation throughout the rush instead of entrusting it to me, his newest employee, by myself. [indirect] Further, she should have accounted for the possibility of a callout during such a vital time. [direct]That incident resulted in a plethora of complaints and even prompted corporate to come and review the manager's performance. [indirect] Soon after the incident, the manager was replaced. [indirect] I cannot say for sure that my disaster prompted this, but the timing seems like more than a coincidence. [indirect] (emphases added)
Exemplars Elements Organization Organization is the deliberate, ordered arrangement of the sentences in the paragraph. After this conversation, I realized that it truly is a blessing to work with my brother. His management style really pushes me out of my comfort zone in the best way possible. He is there to help me magnify my strengths while also reminding me to work on my weaknesses. I ve worked for many managers, and a large portion of them are incapable of this one feat. I m excited for my future as part of the organization. I ve never been in a position where I can ask for feedback so openly, and I m thankful everyday for the opportunity I ve been given.
Exemplars Elements Beginnings and Endings The Beginning and the Ending of the paragraph are both the most important for the reader, and also, the most difficult for the writer. Last year, I was lucky enough to be able to work with the on campus record label headed by the Music Industry Studies program here at CSUN called Five of Five Music Entertainment (VVME).Previously I had only retail and performance based experience in regards to work, so the opportunity to be a part of this team was exciting. I was interviewed by peers, and placed as the Industry/ Social Media Marketing Coordinator based on the networking and social media skills I had demonstrated in the year before. Even though this class is designed to merely simulate a corporate environment, I was thrilled to see that every one of my peers and superiors were just as dedicated to the project as I was. (emphases added)
Exemplars Types Illustration Illustration is the use of examples to make ideas more concrete and to make generalizations more specific and detailed. Dealing with people is difficult, to say the least. I learned this in my time working in the quick-service food industry. However, I encountered an entirely new personality type when I began umpiring: the little league coach personality. [thesis] Now, I know many middle aged men. [more abstract] I enjoy talking to them, learning from their experiences, and soaking up all the advice my brain can handle. The tables were completely turned when I put on that umpire s mask. The fact that I was eighteen years old did not matter to them. [less abstract] They expected a man with knowledge about the sport and a professionally mature personality. [less concrete] Entering my first game, I can truly say I had one of these two things covered relatively well. I have played baseball since I could walk, but I have never told a man who is thirty years older than me to stay in the dugout for the rest of the game or risk being ejected. Needless to say, egotistical middle aged men do not take kindly to being told what to do by a teenager with a chest protector. [more concrete] Nonetheless, not a game goes by where I am not put in this situation. (emphases added)
Exemplars Types Narration Narration is telling a story or recounting a series of events, especially to make a point. After my first summer as staff, I realized that I could not go another summer without being on camp staff. In total, six years of my adolescences were spent in the San Bernardino mountains. Starting off at the very bottom of the food chain as an archery counselor, by my last summer I had reached the top of the totem pole as a camp manager. By this time, I had already achieved the rank of Eagle Scout, but other than scouting, I had no previous management experience. Managing close to a hundred people at the age of 18 is a frightening thought to most, but I saw a chance for learning.
Exemplars Types Description Description is creating a verbal picture, especially to make a person, place, thing, or even an idea vividly concrete. My first official job was a position as a cashier at [a fast food franchise] in Westlake Village. The cash register was not one of the modern touch screen systems, but instead, a counter-intuitive button system that was already over 15 years outdated. The system relied on the user memorizing where the buttons for each item are located. This meant that during my training, it took an age to take orders. Furthermore, there was no system in place to keep track of what food went with each order other than leaving the receipts on the counter. When customers unwittingly took the receipts with them, it was up to the cashier to remember what food went where and in what order it was on the receipt to present the customers with what they ordered how they ordered it. All of these inefficiencies led to an entirely avoidable disaster when I was only a few work days into the job.
Exemplars Types Description (cont.) Description is creating a verbal picture, especially to make a person, place, thing, or even an idea vividly concrete. I ve always loved being able to say I worked as a projectionist in a movie theater. To me, film projectionists were skilled and mysterious, controlling the entire show and seeing everything from the shadows. They were people like Tyler Durden in Fight Clubor Alfredo and Salvatore in Cinema Paradiso. I was so proud to say I was one of them. (emphases in the original)
Exemplars Types Process Analysis Process Analysis arranges a series of events in order and relates them to one another, especially to explain, in detail, how something happened. Living in the mountains, an occasional rain is expected, especially during the summer. One week, rain began falling and it did not seem like an end was near. This happened midway through the summer, which meant some of the tents had began to wear. Pushing to give these campers the best customer service, I assembled a crew to begin switching the ripped tents with new tents. Working in cold and wet conditions is not typically easy; trying to motivate a group to work productively in these circumstances is even more difficult. Our biggest obstacle came in the form of organization; it was difficult to keep track of what had already been done because everything was drenched. Once implementing a system that asked scouts to place their belongings on the picnic bench if they needed a new tent, quickly rose productivity and allowed us to finish in a timely manner.
Exemplars Types Definition Definition allows one to communicate precisely what one wants to say, especially to explain important or unfamiliar words. When someone asks what you do for a living, giving the response of video game tester is often met with a response of disdain or disbelief. Even though the majority of people tend to have the perception that the job is equivalent to playing video games all day , it is quite similar to any other software quality assurance position. The major objective of the quality assurance department in interactive software development is to locate bugs within the software and report them back to the developers. Due to increasingly rigid regulations required by video game console manufacturers, such as Nintendo and Microsoft, quality assurance has become a critical step in the development process. Before a game can be released to the public for these game consoles, the software must be submitted to the console manufacturers for review, and they must approve the title for release. The priority goal of management for quality assurance teams, and the challenge that I was a part of on a daily basis, is to make sure the developed software passes first submission in order to avoid costly re-submission penalties.
Exemplars Types Division and Classification A writer practices Division by separating a class of things or ideas into categories following a clear principle or basis. With Classification, on the other hand, a writer groups individual objects or ideas into already established categories. Division The hospital structure operates in two groups of staff. The front staff consisting of receptionist being managed by the doctor s mother and the back staff of veterinary technicians and kennel workers who are managed by the doctor himself. Although each group of staff has their own manager, the problem arises when they overstep each other s boundaries. To keep myself occupied, I began to sort through the files around my area. I stack files into two different stacks: destroy and close. When closing out files one must downsize the file, place it in a box for storage and enter the information on a handwritten list. When destroying files a person must scan any important document, shred the file, and cross it out of the close list.
Exemplars Types Division and Classification (cont.) Classification The organizational problem was that the employees did not have the knowledge or training required to deal with the problem I had. I researched the sales tax that was charged for the two counties and discovered that Ventura County's sales tax is 9% and Los Angeles County's sale tax is 7.5%. I felt that the employee should have been aware of this or the computer should have been programed to the catch the mistake.
Exemplars Types Comparison and Contrast A Comparison points out the ways that two or more people, places, or things are alike. A Contrast, on the other hand, points out how they differ. As an umpire, I manage a handful of operations. It is my job to ensure that all the rules of the game are followed, to make fast paced judgement calls, and to make sure that coaches, players, and even parents in the stands act in a way that respects both those around them and the game of baseball. Playing experience was enough to allow me to jump in, enforce rules, and make good calls. [comparison] However, dealing with coaches, players, and parents who disagree with my calls has been much more challenging to learn. [contrast] I have now umpired for three seasons at two separate leagues. I have gained the respect of most of the coaches whose games I frequently call (a rare few do not like me and probably never will). (emphases added)
Exemplars Types Cause and Effect Every time one answers a question that asks why , one engages in the process of causal analysis that is, one tries to determine a Cause or series of Causes for a particular Effect. When one answers a question that asks what if , one tries to determine what Effect will result from a particular Cause or series of Causes. The moral of the story is there is no managerial structure within my working environment. There are instances where I don t know who to take orders from [cause] therefore leaving me in fear of listening to the wrong person [effect]. Other times I am confused as to what tasks to accomplish and in what order [effect] because I have managers who have different priorities and I am caught in the middle of the argument [cause]. The results of the controversial hierarchy [cause] are damages to managerial structure therefore the outcome in productivity is severely damaged, employees are left confused as to who they are suppose to take instructions from, and unnecessary stress created in an already stressful environment. [effect] (emphases added)
References Most of the categories for this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following books: Hacker, D., and Sommers, N. (2014) A Writer's Reference (8thed.), Bedford/St. Martin's, Boston:MA. Rosa, A., and Eschholz, P. (2012) Models for Writers (11thed.), Bedford/St. Martin's, Boston:MA. All of the examples were pulled directly my students work. It can only be my high privilege to be able to work with, and learn from, these motivated and talented student-professionals.
