Understanding the Importance of Shared Goals and Values in Marriage Preparation
Explore the significance of shared goals and values in preparing for marriage, delving into the concept of values, their impact on behavior, types of values, and identifying terminal values. Reflect on biblical verses related to terminal values and consider important terminal values for oneself. Engage in discussions with your partner to compare and share views on key values.
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Shared Goals and Values Session 5 Preparing for Marriage http://markrobnett.com/MarriagePreparation
What is the value of this? It depends
Value and Values Value = what something is worth (to you) Values = what is most important to you
Which is more important to you? Honesty Independent Harmony Interdependent Planning Flexibility How do our values affect our behavior?
Two Kinds of People ( ) 1. People who live life without identifying any deep meaning and values. 2. People who live life based on values they have chosen to follow. Which one are you? Which one do you want to be?
Two Types of Values Terminal Values define the overall goal we want to achieve during our existence ; Instrumental values are ways of being that help us reach our terminal values.
Our Ultimate Terminal Value: Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. Isaiah 43:6,7 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight, to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. Ephesians 1:4,6 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
Some Terminal Values (Goals) 1. World Peace: free of war and conflict 10.True Friendship: close companionship 2. Family Security: taking care of loved ones 11.Accomplishment: a lasting contribution 3. Freedom: independence; free choice 12.Inner Harmony: freedom from inner conflict 4. Equality: brotherhood; equal opportunity for all 13.Comfort: a prosperous life 5. Self-respect: self esteem 14.Mature Love: intimacy 6. Happiness: contentedness 15.Beautiful World: nature and the arts 7. Wisdom: a mature understanding of life; how to make the best decisions 16.Pleasure: an enjoyable, leisurely life 17.Social Recognition: respect; admiration 8. National Security: protection from attack 18.Exciting Life: a stimulating, active life 9. God s Glory: salvation & His kingdom 19.___________________________________ Choose 5 that you consider to be very important to you. Share and compare with your partner.
Some Instrumental Values (how to live) 1. Ambitious (Hard-working, aspiring) 11.Independent (Self-reliant, self- sufficient) 2. Broadminded (Open-minded) 12.Intellectual (Intelligent, reflective) 3. Capable (Competent, effective) 13.Logical (Consistent, rational) 4. Cheerful (Lighthearted, joyful) 14.Loving (Affectionate, tender) 5. Clean (Neat, tidy) 15.Obedient (Dutiful, respectful) 6. Courageous (Standing up for your beliefs) 16.Polite (Courteous, well-mannered) 7. Forgiving (Willing to pardon others) 17.Responsible (Dependable, reliable) 8. Helpful (Working for the welfare of others) 18.Self-controlled (Restrained, self- discipline, long-term view) 9. Honest (Sincere, truthful) 19.Security (Savings, risk avoidance) 10.Imaginative (Daring, creative) 20.___________________________________ Choose 5 that describe how you would like to live AND5 you think will be important in your spouse. Then share and compare with your partner.
Values your reflections Was it easy or difficult to choose the top 5 terminal or instrumental values? Were your values challenged or changed during discussion with your partner? How do these values affect everyday living? Do you really live according to the values you chose? Do you think that your values have changed over time?
Why are Values Important? Our values guide how we set priorities and make decisions. When our values differ from those of our partner, conflict can result. Unless we understandeach other s values, it can be very difficult to resolve conflict. If we have different values than our partner, it will be difficult to achieve unity in a relationship.
Chopsticks and Rice Bowls If your partner shares your values, you will grow closer over time. If your partner has different values, you will grow further apart.
Living in Gods Image Genesis 1:26 (mind, will, heart, and power) A Heart to Delight in God: Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 And you shall love the Lord your God A Will to Choose God: choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD. Joshua 24:15 with all your heart and with all your soul and A Mind to Know God: Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3 with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:31 Power to Advance His Kingdom: But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
